I suppose I should recognize the passage of time, and the fact that we've crossed the artificial border between Last Year and This Year, but frankly it all feels sort of nebulously fake still, so, well, I've been unmotivated. We are still quarantining with my in-laws, and closing in on 6 months of basically being housebound. Weekly trips to Target for driveup/curbside pickup, the occasional walk through the neighborhood or to a playground or park (if we get lucky and there's no one there), and, well, that's about it. I should get outside more, but it's cold and rainy and I am a weak Californian unaccustomed to the Pacific Northwest and its constant cold dampness. Sure, walks in the rain are fun. I remember enjoying that in college, in particular, for some reason. The novelty, maybe, given that Los Angeles isn't exactly prone to rainstorms. But the persistent dark, cold, wet weather is a little hard for me in terms of activating. I find myself staying in bed longer in the mornings (thank you thank you grandparents and beloved husband for taking the kids for that first hour or two) and generally dragging my feet when it comes to exercise or even just going outside. I should get better at that, but...well, ok. Maybe not.
Anyway, I do have some fun and exciting things brewing in this new year, and I am trying to keep my resolutions simple and achievable, but motivational. Intentions that will serve me as we enter another uncertain year.
1. Shoot my shot. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and all that, right? This year, I'm committing to asking for what I want, putting myself out there, and just going for it. Too much is at stake for me to worry whether I'm ready or good enough, and I'm done messing around with imposter syndrome.
2. Recharge. I need to put this in writing so that I commit to it, and make the time for myself to recharge. Ideally every night, but at least a couple times a week. Reading a book, taking a walk alone, taking a long shower...I need to do something regularly that fills my cup, that doesn't involve being touched by my children or doing things for other people at all.
That's it. I want to take bold chances and do things that are restorative. Wish me luck.