everything / anything / wherever / whenever
I disagree with this writer's "well maybe its just time to grow up and get over yourself" attitude. In fact, I think it's a pretty condescending, holier-than-thou mindset to have. Her gist is "you're always going to feel like you have no direction until you finally acknowledge that everyone's only direction is down. Stop seeking the perfect job--it doesn't exist. Stop traveling and trying to find yourself--just sit down, get a mortgage, and breed already." Sounds to me like she's heavily disappointed with where her life has led so far, but unlike a quarterlifer, she's conceded that that's all there is. One of the big risks this country and culture took in entrusting women with the stewardship of our own bodies, minds, and futures was the risk that we would choose to not get married, have babies, and settle into the doldrums of wage-working parenthood. Modern women have been choosing to not have kids, or have been choosing to delay kids in order to have a fun, non-mommy time, which leads to hormonal confusion and worry. Many women want to have kids, but not right now--not just after I finished uni, found myself, and started being upwardly mobile. Why waste the money on college, why spend the time chasing your dreams, if you're only going to drop everything and allow everything that was once you to suddenly vanish in response to a biological urge to keep the species going? Having kids changes priorities and views, and to do so is not a choice that should be undertaken lightly (or drunkenly.) They're all too easy to make, and all too natural and desirable to the animal in you, but are a terrible idea if you give the slightest scrap of a damn about yourself and your goals, values, and dreams. That's the thing all the public service announcements told us when we were teenagers, but now they're suddenly backtracking. Oh, yes, well, we did tell you to use protection Then, yes, but this is now. Now you've proven that you're smart and desirable members of society. Now you're useful and capable. Now we want you to drop your goals, values, and dreams and start producing those smart, desirable members of society. Grow up and realize that we were just joking when we told you to dream big. We didn't think you were actually listening. I think it might be nice to settle down and have kids when I can afford it--after forty years of exploration, hard work, good investments and smart saving. When I'm 65 I'll start looking into that. Why would I want to waste my productive, healthy, pretty years being responsible for the upkeep of offspring? That's counter-intuitive. I'll get around to breeding as soon as I'm done being me.
Whoa. Kristen is a trip. Damn.I had all kinds of stuff to say, but, damn.
As a mid-40-something with a 19 year old this was very interesting to read. It's hard to understand, having not been through it, and at the risk of sounding like an 'old person' I'll say that things were very different when I was in my 20s. Yes, there was a feeling of: is this it? what's next? where am I going? But then, life just happens. You have a job. No job is perfect. You stick with it. Maybe you get married, maybe you don't. Life tends to happen while we're busy waiting for it to start. I think it's much more difficult to be a young person today than when I was in my 20s. We now tend to over-think things, want things to be perfect,-- always exciting -- and and to maximize our potential. We're constantly 'in touch' on FB, twitter etc, yet is that real communication? I think they're a distraction from the present, the moment we are currently in, and cause us to miss out on a lot that is going on in our world. My advice? Keep your life simple, do things that make you happy/content and let your life evolve. Don't always be looking for the next big thing, enjoy where you are at the moment. Be a good friend. Do your best at your job whether or not you love it. Planning is good, but realize that you can't control every event in your life and sometimes the best things are those that are unexpected. Appreciate nature. Take are of yourself and those you love. Don't be afraid of hardship - some of those experiences will change you in ways you never imagined. Find what makes you feel peaceful and content inside and nurture that. Most importantly, feel grateful for what you have. There. I've said my piece. Go forth and be happy, young people.
Kim, I agree, and I think that is very good advice. If my mom is reading this, I think she is thinking that it sounds a lot like her advice too :-) Yes, I admit it: Moms are wise creatures.