Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Oh hey.

I'm alive.

It's amazing how little time I've found to blog lately, but with the rush of returning to work plus the holiday season, time has been somewhat limited.

As I ease back into working (both full time at Disqus and still dedicating part time hours to OrgOrg), I'm finding myself in front of a computer more often, which means more stolen moments at lunchtime or while pumping to blog. So you'll probably see more of me around here again soon.

Motherhood is full of very high highs and some low lows...sleep deprivation is a very real torture, and while I kind of enjoy the middle of the night feedings, for their special bonding time (especially since I'm not breastfeeding all day while at work), waking up 3x/night to feed a baby is exhausting (even if Will gets up to give her a pacifier because I know she's not actually hungry; I still wake up).
We have a great nanny who watches her while we're at work, and I stress about pumping enough milk to get through each day since we haven't tried formula yet, but I'm trying to relax about it. We think she's teething, which will be a whole new ballgame...and I'm just hoping we don't get hit with a major sleep regression (waking up every hour instead of every 2-3 makes a huge difference!). I stress that she's not sleeping enough, that we should be sleep training her, that she doesn't nap well, that I can't get her to nap...there's always something new to worry about. I hear that's just Babies.

I feel like my brain is only partially functional at this point, and I'd like to feel more functional. More like myself, I say, but I don't really even know what that means. I'm in bed by 9:30 most nights, because I try to go to bed when I put Margie to bed to maximize sleep potential. That means the house is an explosion of stuff (hello, two weeks of traveling) and Will and I don't do much hanging out alone (except for the occasional "late night" TV binge, until 10:30pm or so), but this is all a phase, I hear. I'm trying to enjoy the minutes and not wish they'd pass more quickly, as much as I can.

In the meantime, I've been testing out my Lansinoh Smart Pump (review coming soon) and some cute nursing clothes from Bun Maternity (review coming soon), and trying to maintain some modicum of sanity in the few hours I have home and awake with this little nugget of joy before we all go to bed exhausted each night. Her round little smiling face makes up for a lot :)

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