Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Two Very Different Views On Weddings

I know about a bajillion people who are recently engaged, recently planning weddings, or recently married. Seriously, it's getting weird. Hey, weddings are fun and all, and it's not like I'm invited to (or required to attend) all of them, so I can't complain about buying a bajillion gifts or anything, but it's just weird. I have a list of about 20 people I have known since college/high school, many of whom are in their early-mid 20's, who are about to embark upon this whole marriage thing. I'm certainly not ready for it, but I am a girl, so I do get swept up in the excitement of the whole shebang...talking about dresses and flowers and wine and dresses and music and dancing and dresses and rings and dresses and you get the idea.

But I digress. The point of this blog is to share two little articles I dug up from reading other people's blogs.

1: How I feel about weddings. They should be simple, and more about the joining of two people (and two families) than about spending money or matching linens. Though I do like matching linens. And cake tasting sounds like a LOT of fun (though I hear that when you actually want to purchase a cake, you should never mention the word "wedding" or they will jack up the price by about 30%). Whether or not I am ready for a wedding of my own, I don't know a girl who hasn't thought about her wedding, or designed an engagement ring online (just for fun), regardless of whether or not she is currently in, or has ever been in a serious relationship. In fact, I find that more girls (myself included) tend to do such fantasy wedding planning when they are not in a we-could-one-day-possibly-in-the-future-become-married type of relationship. I don't know why. That's not the point. The point is, I don't want to spend so much on the wedding that I can't afford a house. Or kids. Or to not be in debt for the rest of my life. I'd like to stand with my partner, in front of our families and close friends, exchange vows in a ceremony that reflects us as a couple, and then celebrate with good food and drink and dancing late into the night. And I want to wear a pretty dress.

2: This wedding (and proposal and relationship, really) kind of makes me want to throw up. Just read it and you'll see. If you think it's just the most magical thing you've ever heard of, and that the extravagances are small prices to pay for the most perfect day of your life, then we probably aren't friends. Or we're friends, but you have a lot more money than I do...and we probably don't hang out. Like, ever.

Bottom line: I'm a tightwad and a romantic, and I don't think I need to spend a million bucks (the national average is apparently $37,000) to prove or express my love. Honestly.

Also...I think many people take themselves too seriously. I try to spend every day doing what I can do be happy, not fill my life with stress, and in general, to just enjoy the day. I don't want to feel like I need to come home and go out to "unwind" or "have fun." I want my whole day to be fun. Shouldn't that be the way of the world?


  1. actually you do know a girl who's never thought about her own wedding or designed a ring. i have no interest in that sort of thing whatsoever. but i'm weird.

  2. and omfg--they have magazines and websites dedicated to this sort of thing? where have I been? Its ONE DAY people! and the actual legal aspect of it was already taken care of weeks beforehand. If you're that obsessed with impressing your family, reinstate the dowry or something. what a stupid waste. not that it'll ever happen, but if i ever find the need, i'm eloping.

  3. Oy, weddings. You know you're getting old when all of your friends are getting engaged and thinkning about weddings. Actually, you know you're getting old when all of your friends are having kids. Lucky for me all my friends are getting married AND/OR having kids. Great.

    Thanks for your comments on my NYC blog...there's been more developments, check 'em out yo! :)

  4. Ugh. I've never designed my own ring, but that's in part because I don't know the websites.
    But, I do feel guilty for having narrowed my "first dance" songs down to two...and the recessional song, I think is pinned.

    With re the magazine article:
    1) Her name is *Love.* Nature versus nurture, anyone? She was brought up to look at Her Wedding as her very highest calling. 27 years in the making, indeed.
    2) It's a wedding planner magazine. Of course they're going to show the most extravagant weddings out there.
    3) I threw up in my mouth a little.


  5. If/when I am ever wed, it will be in front of the judge, in the city hall of the city in which I live, or the city in which he lives, or in a city that has a nice city hall. FORGET the rest of it. Save the money. Buy me a f*cking awesome piece of jewelry. Isn't this obvious?

  6. This sounds like Messer making a comment on my bloggie! I'll get ya some jewels...family jewels.

  7. Weisberg family jewels...now THAT'S something for which I would consider wearing a white dress!