Stick, Stack, Stuck

That title doesn't make much sense, but it sounds good in my slightly-stuffy head, so roll with me here. Because today, I am feeling a little stuck. I don't know how I can possibly feel like I'm in a rut, given the changes lately, but alas, I do. Perhaps it is because I am so happy with the new living situation, and things are going so well in that arena, that I am feeling stuck in other places in my life.

True, I've only been at the new job for two months. So technically, that's still new. But I woke up this morning tired of working. Not at my new job - things there are just fine - but in general. I had that thought that I think every 20-something has at some point, that thought of "Holy Cow. I am going to be working for the rest of my life. This routine will continue (seemingly) forever." Especially in today's financial times, retirement feels very far away. Wait a minute - um, hello - I am 25 years old. Why am I talking about retirement?

Truth is, I've always dreamed about the day when I say goodbye to working and hello to leisure. I mean, who doesn't? This is hardly news. I don't know many people who love working...even if they love their jobs, if given the choice and the opportunity, would they choose to go to work? Maybe. But I wouldn't. Those months of unemployment were a tease - making just enough money to get by (thank you, government), but having all the time in the world. It's a luxury to be sure. I wonder if those lucky few who don't have to work appreciate what they have? If money were not an issue, I wouldn't work, I know that. I would volunteer, garden, cook, read, write, take pottery classes, sit in on lectures...all the things you hear about grandparents doing.

Anyway, the point is that I know I have to work. Most of us do. You put in your lifetime of labor and you are eventually (hopefully) rewarded with a few "golden years" of relaxation. It's a part of life, and I think that if you can find a job that you don't hate, you are one of the lucky ones. Right now, I am one of the lucky ones. And I know it. But that doesn't stop me from sometimes feeling overwhelmed at the magnitude of it all...I am going to spend the next 40-50 years of my life working. And that's just the way it is. It sometimes feels like a heavy weight, bearing down on my shoulders, blocking my path to some unknown happiness that I could experience if I only had the time. I suppose that's a common feeling though - you work because you must, you try to enjoy what you do, and make the most of your life outside work. Try to keep it simple.

Suck it up, Kim. Stop being so dramatic. Ok. Maybe this is all just because I know summer is ending, and soon, the days will be so short that it will be dark when I get to work, and dark when I leave. Maybe it's the stuffy nose and the fact that I just finished reading The White Queen (talk about stuck - try being a woman in 15th Century England).

Maybe I'm just a dramatic, self-involved 20-something, and I need to suck it up already.

Maybe I just need a haircut.