Thank you for your incompetence.
Once you graciously moved my delivery date from Monday to Tuesday (no, truly, I do thank you for that), thank you for refusing to accommodate when I asked to move the date a second time. I know it's annoying, but I had a last-minute schedule change at work (requiring my presence on Tuesday) that I was trying to work around. As I juggled my schedule, I really appreciated your refusal to move the delivery to Thursday, stating a rule that "deliveries have to be made within 3 days of the originally scheduled date, so Wednesday is the last possible day." Since I was unavailable on Wednesday, thank you for warning that if I didn't accept the delivery, it would be sent back to IKEA. Thank you for telling me a 4-hour window was the shortest you could offer. At least that's better than Comcast.
And despite the fact that I had a scheduled delivery from 10am-2pm today (supposedly the very first window of the day), thank you for calling me at 11:30am to "schedule" my delivery as if I wasn't waiting at home for a previously scheduled (and thrice-confirmed) delivery. It was really no big deal to rearrange my day around this delivery, so it's really no big deal that it didn't actually happen. It wasn't stressful to call a friend (Dear Laura: you are a superhero, and a tribute to all things Friendship) to come sit at my house so I could run into work (30 min away) for 3 hours, just in case you showed up (this wasn't your fault, but if I'm going to move my ish around for you, the least you could do is show up). Thank you for calling at 1pm to say you couldn't come today after all.
Thank you for offering such helpful information as, "We should know if we can make a delivery today after 2pm. We can let you know by 6pm for sure. Maybe we can deliver tonight, maybe before 7 or after 8, depending on the schedule. If not, we can definitely deliver any other day and give you a 2-hour window."
Thank you for this flip flop. I do appreciate your offering Saturday 8am delivery to me (hmm Saturday is more than 3 days after my original date, though isn't it?). That 8-10am window would have been great as a first option, but I understand if that's only available to people whose deliveries have been so screwed up that they call repeatedly to complain. If I'd had that option when I originally scheduled my didn't-happen-anyway delivery, I wouldn't have had to get all twisted up running back and forth trying to get to work and back, but thank you for getting my heart rate up. I probably needed it. Thanks for confirming though, that someone would definitely call me before 6pm to let me know if delivery tonight would be a possibility. I started feeling sorry for the drivers who would return at the end of their shift to be told they had one more delivery to make. I started picturing the effusive thanks I would give for their unexpected above and beyond service. I waited for the phone to ring, ready to pour my gratitude upon the person calling to say they'd made it work.
It's 6:15pm. Thank you for not calling me. And when I called you, thanks for having no idea what I was talking about, and instead insisting that I am scheduled for 8am on Saturday and there is no option for delivery tonight. Thanks for offering to check with your coworkers (always with the "let me check with my coworker") and confirming that there's no way it can happen this evening, and you're not sure why someone would have told me that. Thanks for laughing a little bit, as if this idea was just the silliest thing ever. Thanks for confirming that the note on my account says 9am delivery, when just 5 minutes ago, you said 8am. Thanks for being so reassuring when you said it will "definitely be there by 9:30 though". I have no reason to doubt you, of course.
Thank you for at least having customer service reps who try to be nice. They're mostly sweet, despite their apparent ineptitude and lack of interdepartmental communication skills. Maybe this isn't their fault. Maybe the system really is extraordinarily glitchy. Maybe they're being told different things by different people all day long, and they're just doing their best.
Thank you for not delivering my furniture today. I look forward to waking up for an 8am for a delivery that's not likely to arrive on time. My husband thanks you too.
All the love,
Update (7.17, 9am): Husband said he could be home for a Thursday morning 8-10am delivery, which would be preferable to Saturday. I called this morning (Weds) at 7am to see if that was an option, fully aware that I am possibly a crazy person. The woman on the phone (whose name, again, I forgot to collect) said she wasn't sure and would have to call her dispatcher. And then...the best part? She confirmed my Saturday delivery window as 9-11am, saying they don't deliver earlier than 9. So now I've heard "we don't deliver before 10", "we can deliver from 8-10", and "we don't deliver before 9". I am officially confused, and awaiting a call back. Thanks, Dynamex, for securing my confidence in you.
Update (7.17, 11am): Spoke with Dynamex Manager Hector, who (after I explained my frustrating experience so far) said they could deliver tomorrow (Thursday) between 9-11am. When I asked if I could have the 8-10 window I had previously been promised, he said it's impossible because the trucks leave the warehouse at 8am. BUT I got him to promise me that he would make sure our delivery is the first on the route (and Hector, we confirmed twice, and you guaranteed it!), so while he can't guarantee an arrival time (traffic and whatnot), it's looking good that the delivery will happen before 10am. Fingers crossed for a smooth delivery and no more problems.
Update (7.17, 1pm): Got a call from the call center confirming my delivery for 9-11am tomorrow (Thursday). When I asked if a note from Hector was on my account, the woman confirmed that it said, "Deliver this first!" -- ok, Dynamex. The ball's in your court. See you in the morning!