Thursday, September 1, 2016

Waiting patiently

Just staring contemplatively out a window, thinking
about the growing life inside my body. No big deal.

It's September 1, and we're at 40 weeks, 4 days.

I had my first nonstress test this morning, standard procedure for once you've passed your due date. Baby's heartbeat sounds good, as thumpy as always. She was "very asleep" (according to the nurse), so we had to give her (me) a glass of cold water to wake her up, but then boy did she wake up!

Other than the Braxton Hicks contractions, and some mild cramping (normal after your doctor checks your cervix to see how dilated it is - don't know how she does that? well, it involves sticking fingers up into your cervix. it's just as fun as it sounds.), I'm feeling pretty good. I don't feel any more like I'm about to go into labor than I did a few weeks ago. Just tired and a bit achy.

I guess it's time to get some more of that rest I've been talking so much about, and give this baby however much time she needs to make her exit from my womb and entrance into the world.

Speaking of which...I've got a whole new perspective on Things (Not) To Say To A Pregnant Person. When a Pregnant Person is past their due date, kindly refrain from saying things like "Get out of there, baby!" unless you know the Pregnant Person feels the same way. See, I've been very conflicted on the subject of when Baby is going to arrive. There are definitely days when I can't wait to meet her, and I think obsessively about what she'll look like and what her personality will be. I imagine us holding her, learning about her, and falling more in love with her every day. Then there are other days when I just want to hold onto every last moment of pregnancy, and I think about how there's only so long that I have left where it will be just her and me like this. I want to treasure and remember what this is like, this ever-shortening time when she's living inside me. While these feelings fight for space in my mind, mostly I just want to wait patiently and let her come when she's ready.

So when people (and boy, are there people) come at me with the "Oooh! You're past your due date! Come on, baby! Get outta there!" and the "Aren't you just so ready to be done?" and the "Can't wait to meet her! Hurry up, baby!" and the "What kinds of things are you doing to induce?" ...oy.

I know they're excited. I know everyone wants to meet this baby girl. I do, too. But it's hard to be surrounded by this much anxious/happy/excited/eager energy when I'm just not quite there. I'm excited, yes, but I'm not at the end of my pregnancy rope. I'm still enjoying being pregnant, and I'm still on the "let her come when she's ready" train. So please be patient with me. And her. This will happen when it happens, and if it goes too long, well, I've got an induction scheduled for September 10.

Of course, now that I've said all this (numerous times), how much do you want to bet that she's here by the weekend?

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