Monday, May 16, 2011


Oh Target, I love you so. If you wanted to sponsor my blog and put your icon all over the place in exchange for free gift cards, I would accept. I would sell out for you. I. Love. Target.

I even love (in that sort of ironic "Oh don't you just love how blah blah blah thing that's not actually good") the Mystery of Target, otherwise known as Target's Law, wherein one enters the doors with a fine-tuned list, only to emerge hours later with $200 in stuff she did not need.  Just me?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

We have a new Target in our neighborhood. Ok, it's not even IN our neighborhood. But it's in Emeryville, which is a mere 10 minutes from our house. Compare this to the Target in El Cerrito, which is a whole 12 minutes away (but seriously, it's usually more like 15 or even 20 because you have to take the freeway which always has traffic right where I need to be), and you can see why I'm so thrilled. Ok fine. According to Google Maps it takes about the same amount of time to go to either store, but the one in Emeryville IS TOTALLY CLOSER! Sorry Google Maps, but you're wrong. You are not understanding the traffic on that particular section of I-80.

Aaaaanyway.  I went to this beautiful new Target (and lawdy is it beautiful and new!) recently to pick up a few essential items. I think y'all know where this is going.

My list:
  • basket for Will's dresser
  • container for garden tools
  • party food (for my birthday BBQ that was last week)
  • pimple cream benzoyl peroxide
  • Tide to go pens
  • charcoal
  • something that I put on my list but decided I didn't need to buy after all (and now I can't even remember what it was. I accidentally deleted my list but now I wish I hadn't.)
I actually got:
  • basket for Will's dresser
  • container for garden tools
  • pimple cream benzoyl peroxide
  • Tide to go pens
  • charcoal
  • 3 bras ($10.99-$14.99! And they fit!)
  • 2 cardigan sweaters (though I swore I would never buy another. They are my crack. Plus, they are so super cute and perfect for Spring! And I've already worn one of them!)
  • 1 beachy tshirt that will be perfect for casual weekends when it's all hot outside (and I've already worn it!).
  • 2 beach towels to put over my dirty patio couch cushions when guests come over (they work like a charm!)
  • yet another pair of gaucho jersey knit knee-length pants - but they were SO soft and in a color I don't already have, and I've already worn them a bunch! (I am very good at justification)
  • votive candles (that I did need for the party - better than tea lights for bigger lanterns)
  • oil-removing face wipes
  • some sort of pimple stick thing for already-popped pimples (gross, I know, but come on. you know you need one too)
  • 2 bags of chips and 2 lbs of grapes (party food?)
  • bananas
  • individually-packaged chicken breasts (you know those ones they sell at Costco that are all individually sealed and stuck together so you can stick them in the freezer and take them out one at a time? I love them.)
  • lighter (one of those nice, long ones, good for the BBQ)
  • bike shorts to replace the ones I couldn't find (though as soon as I washed them, they turned up in Will's underwear drawer)
But I didn't buy:
  • cushions for my patio couch
  • ice/drinks bucket
  • super cute serving trays (don't get me started on all the awesome, brightly colored springtime outdoor serving stuff. ack.)
  • a new BBQ
  • more party lights (I decided to re-use Christmas lights instead, even though they're not as cute)
  • fun $1 socks
  • paper lanterns
  • a foam roller
  • more stuff I totally wanted...I could seriously do some damage at Target with no spending limit.
Total damage: $269.  Thanks, Target.

So...everybody wins?

*I stole that photo from a website about finding your target heart rate, and for some reason Blogger won't let me edit a link to it. So, this is where I found it:


  1.  OMG I know. Target's Law. Ha! You slay me. 

    I haven't been inside a Target in months because, you know. Target's Law!

  2. In England people buy disposable bbqs--it's quite strange.  They're fairly shallow crumply aluminium 9x12 pie pans with a flimsy grille and lighter fluid-impregnated charcoal all sealed together and sold at the grocery store.  Simply light, cook, and leave in the park for someone else to deal with rather than throw away or recycle because you're too damn lazy to douse it with water and wait a few minutes for it to cool so you can pick it up. They have a lot of excessively-disposable crap here, even though they like to wave their hands around and say America is solely responsible for trashing up the place.

  3. Have you seen Daniel Tosh's bit about Target? Hilarious and true. 

    Also, I probably used to make those bras. Weird, right?

  4. I haven't, but now I want to! That is weird...but thank you for making them?
    Yay for cheap comfy bras!

  5. Oh that IS strange! I've seen those disposable bbqs at Walgreens and such,
    but never thought to buy one because of the flimsy/waste factor. Silly
    Britons! :)

  6. I just used to tell the ladies in Indonesia how to make them and how many, and then how to get ship them, blah blah blah.  You're welcome? :)

  7. Ha. Well thank you, Indonesian ladies!