Why I Don't Write About Race

There were some really great conversations about race and privilege at BlogHer this weekend. It's not something I write about (or even talk about, frankly) very often, but these conversations have gotten me thinking. And as Feminista Jones reminded us, we should all speak up. We should all claim our experiences, and honestly? My privilege is one reason I don't talk about it. I don't need to talk about it. It doesn't affect me. Except that it does. It affects all of us. It affects us as a community, as a country, as human beings sharing one planet. And not speaking up because I feel like I don't have a worthy enough story myself is a really shitty reason to stay silent.

My experiences with "otherness" are not much to write home about. They are very white, in the most socioeconomic sense of the word. They are steeped in privilege, which is a word I'll just apologize now for overusing in this post. When I was in elementary school, I was not popular. I was made fun of for liking books, for listening to country music, for being Jewish-looking (not that I was in any way an *actual* minority, guys. I just hadn't grown into my nose, and my peers had, I guess). I ate lunch in the library, and yes, I felt like a big ole loser nerd much of the time, but eh...I had bigger concerns, like how many library books the librarian would let me check out at once or when I would be allowed to wear pointe shoes. In middle school, some girls threatened to steal my clothes in the bathroom once, but that was an anomaly - I don't think they even knew who I was aside from some random kid to torment. I grew up a theatre kid, which for many people is synonymous with otherness, but I actually had a wonderful group of friends and went to a high school where the theatre kids were more beloved than the athletes (or at least we felt that way), so no stories of being stuffed in a locker or bullied there. Sure, I grew up on "the other" side of Ventura Boulevard, not in Hidden Hills or Calabasas where most of my classmates lived...but I didn't live as far as where all the signs were in Spanish, either. I was right in the middle - sometimes uncomfortable, but squarely settled in my own assured privilege. Full of teen angst, but most definitely in a stereotypically privileged way.

The first time I was confronted with feelings of racial difference was in college, when I volunteered with Equal Opportunity Productions (EqOp) - a non-profit arts outreach program in Los Angeles. We visited schools whose arts programs had been taken away, mostly in East LA, and provided free classes and workshops in self-expression, storytelling and improv. We took a group of kids to a cabin in Big Bear for a week one summer (looking back, how the hell did we do that? A lot of parental trust.) to write and produce their own play. It was a transformative experience for many of these kids, who didn't really know how to put their many pre-teen angsty feelings into words. Who didn't feel comfortable expressing their feelings in public. Who hadn't had experiences that allowed them to be crazy, silly, creative kids with a voice. Who hadn't before been listened to and told that their voices mattered.

And for me, it was surprisingly eye-opening. Not because I'd never been exposed to poverty or class divisions, but because for the first time, I was deeply involved and working closely with a diverse group, first-hand, in a way where I had an active role in Making A Difference. And in my own 20-year-old-with-a-heart-full-of-passion way, it was there that I experienced otherness in a way I hadn't before. See, out of our group of 15 or so kids, there were two who were white and Jewish and lived comfortably above the poverty line. When the time came for the program's director to pair us "adults" with kids to mentor, naturally I was paired with the ones who looked like me. And I get it. It's important for kids to have mentors they can personally connect with, and especially for young minority kids to see strong, grown up minority mentors they can easily see as their future selves. And I fucking loved working with those kids. But I also resented our racially classified mentor/mentee relationships because it was less about pairing me with the white kids and more about not pairing me with the ones who were black or brown. In dividing ourselves based on the color of our skin, weren't we part of the problem? In telling these kids that they should learn from those who look just like them, weren't we closing ourselves off to diversity and shared experience?

I will never know what it's like to grow up as a young, black girl below the poverty line in East LA. That will never be my experience. And so I understand why an organization would pair that girl with a mentor who has been there and lived it. And I do believe that it's the right call. I hate (hate hate hate) stories that look like "white person comes in and saves the poor black kids". That's not the story I want to be a part of. But to be told, without further discussion, that "well, obviously" I would be paired with the brainy Jewish kids made me feel strange. I felt like I was being put into a box I didn't know was mine, told that my experiences were as one-dimensional as my looks. That I shouldn't worry about relating to the kids who didn't look like me, because someone more qualified was going to do that.

I have never experienced systemic prejudice. I have never been excluded from a place of privilege because of my race. My experiences as a Jewish woman growing up in the San Fernando Valley do not in any way qualify me to speak on behalf of minority groups who face real adversity, and I do not wish to be any sort of savior. I just want, in my own naive, sunshiney way, to relate to each other on a human level. And I want to feel like I am making some sort of impact, to do something, however small, to make a world where our humanity is all that matters.

There were a lot of talks this weekend about what it means to be an ally. How to support without appropriation. How to speak up, but not speak for. I don't have answers. I only have my experience, and my heart. And a lot of the time, my heart hurts so much for those I don't know how to help that I dissolve into a pool of helplessness and just freeze. I don't want to freeze anymore.

If you have a story you want to tell, please share. Please link to your blog in the comments. I won't use my friends as my teachers - the internet is out there, and there is no shortage of stories to tell about the systemic abuse that exists in this world. I cannot claim, and will not tell, your stories as if they were mine. But you can tell them. Please tell them.

Hello From BlogHer!

It's that time of year, friends. Time for thousands of bloggers (mostly ladybloggers) to convene in one place for some "IRL" community bonding. Yes, it's BlogHer season. This year, the conference is close to home, in San Jose, which means that for the first time ever, I drove to BlogHer. I'm going to take the lessons from BlogHers past and cut back on my swag intake...just because you have room for it doesn't mean you should take it! (As my therapist says, "just because you can doesn't mean you should" - amen, sister, I'll try to remember that one)

This time, I have the honor of sharing my BlogHer experience with my coworker Helen...this is her inaugural BlogHer experience, so it's exciting times indeed. If you met us tonight, we were giddy with freedom (hey, we left the office at 3:30pm! and aren't going in tomorrow!) and high on blogger energy. If this is your first time over here at Kim's Kitchen Sink, say hi in the comments! Nice to meet you.

Starting our evening off right with Eppa Sangria at the
Sundown Sangria Soiree.
The invitation said to wear yoga pants. So. Obviously.

It was very hot. There was an ice luge for the sangria.

Attempting to take a selfie for #selfiebration (ugh that word)

Helen attempts a selfie as well. It was hard
to get the picture just right. Involved a lot
of maneuvering.

Late night dinner at Johnny Rockets for nostalgia's sake.
Jukebox was broken. Womp womp.

Area Woman Reports Smiley Face Ketchup Still a Thing.

I didn't take many pictures in the expo hall because I was too busy exhaling (and tweeting) and making mental notes for tomorrow and Saturday (drool over fancy Samsung appliances? CHECK!). Also, I got my fingernails painted Disqus blue (thanks, Bridgestone Tires booth, for the mani and the massage!), so even though I'm not here reppin' Disqus (unless you're an engineer and you want a job, in which case, come find me), I'm still reppin' the blue.

Maybe I'll post every day throughout the conference, maybe I won't...Thursday night is always the calm before the storm. If you see me wandering around with my face in my phone, poke me and say hi!

In My Garden

Our little garden is starting to produce produce, and it's pretty exciting!

From left: sugar snap peas, producer beans, romano beans,
pole beans, and some sort of czech tomatoes.

We're also growing radishes, more tomatoes, jalapeños, "king of the north" peppers, padron peppers, basil, dill, parsley (oh so much parsley), carrots, parsnips, red russian kale, and rainbow chard. And our lemon tree is looking good too.  

Our little corner of vegetable heaven.

Check out those pole beans! 

I love how the tomatoes start to ripen top-down. 

I can't take credit for the lemons, but they're going nuts! 

Poppies and our bushy lemon tree, and a straight-on view of
the path to the garden. Roses on the left that I can't take
credit for either.

I think that in another week or so, we're going to be drowning in beans and tomatoes and peppers and radishes! Someday, carrots and parsnips. We're already growing more parsley than we can eat or turn into pesto. It's choking the dill, so I think we may need to just start harvesting and giving it away! I don't know why parsley goes so crazy in our yard, but man.

I mean, look at that parsley.
You can hardly notice the radish greens or the bushy kale :)

...are you growing anything this year?

The Purge

No, not the probably-terrifying movie that's in theatres right now. I'm talking about one of July's #YoCP projects: The Shoe Purge. Our shoe situation was pretty out of hand -- my shoes were taking over Will's part of the closet, which meant his spilled out onto the floor. Plus, mine were such a mess that I could never get them to fit on the racks, so I just...didn't. Feast your eyes on this little before and after:

Major thanks to Sonja for being my partner in purge, helping me get rid of 4 grocery bags of shoes (and random clothes) and not judging me for the amount of dust that was under the pile. It feels good to actually be able to see every pair of shoes, and know that I'm not holding on to extraneous crap.

How are your July YoCP projects going? Did you launder/clean your shoes? (I didn't, but they didn't really need it) Do you have any other projects going on? My next project is framing and hanging the art we have collected in piles and rolls in the guest room. And I still have to take care of the last June project: polishing the headlights on the car (I did actually do all the other car-cleaning projects. The glovebox has never looked better).

Congratulations on making it through half the year!

How Berkeley? So Very.

This weekend, I finally had one of those stereotypical Berkeley experiences. I can't believe it took me 8 years of living in this city to get around to it. Yes, folks, I walked to Berkeley Bowl and did my grocery shopping with a backpacking pack. For years, I've shopped there and had a hearty "oh, Berkeley" chuckle to myself watching people stroll up with their oversized packs, happily loading them up at the checkout, in their own endorphin-induced contentment. I never thought I would be one of them, but we've entered a new season of life, guys.

Anyway, my friend Sonja is one of those friends who brings out the best in you. When we're together, we always seem to have great ideas and end up eating well and getting housework done; she's a good influence on me. Basically, we're perfect sister wives. And our menfolk love each other, so all is well in the world when we're living in the same city. Which we currently are. So, Sonja's in town, which means that we get to get together randomly, like on Sunday, when I texted her asking if she wanted to help me purge my shoes (part of July's YoCP). Not long after, she was on my doorstep and we were crafting a plan for the day. Our grocery shopping trip involved 3.3 miles of walking (and I carried 20lbs for the second half!), great preparation for the 3-day backpacking trip Will and I are taking this weekend. We weeded the garden, did laundry, purged the shoes, dealt with some fruit flies, and did a little stretching. 

When Will came home from the driving range, the three of us went back to the garden to thin the carrots and do some more weeding...and we ended up picking radishes, sugar snap peas, and mint for our dinner, along with the tops of the carrots we thinned (which we later turned into pesto, along with the radish greens). The garden is looking pretty damn good after two months! We'll be picking tomatoes soon, and cucumbers and beans are growing well too. Hell yeah. Oh yeah, we planted a garden for my 30th ("dirty thirty" garden party). It's going well.

Anyway, we needed to make some dinner before Will's hockey game - it needed bread, and meat, and we wanted to use all the veggies we'd picked (along with some we'd bought at Berkeley Bowl). From the braintrust that is Kim and Sonja in the Kitchen, we came up with the following:

Mexican-Inspired Bread Nachos

Start with one sourdough baguette from La Farine.
Or any baguette. Or probably any similar bread.
Tear it up and put it in the bottom of a baking dish. 

Top with leftover meat (in this case, shredded Barbacoa beef
from Thursday's lunch at work).

Top with cheese (we used sharp white cheddar and pepper
jack), pickled jalapenos and salsa. Would've used more
salsa and jalapenos but I ran out.

Top with more cheese.

Bake, uncovered, for about 20 minutes at 350F. When the
cheese is melty, switch to the broiler and broil until golden
brown and crisped up, another 5-10 min or so.

Marvel at the ooey gooey deliciousness you created.

Serve with a crispy, crunch salad full of veggies to make
yourself believe you're eating something healthy.
Have seconds.

This recipe is basically a variation of the Rachel Ray "lazy lasagna" model: bread + sauce + meat + cheese. It's a great way to get mileage out of stale bread, but I like it with fresh bread too...it just gets extra squishy. It's super forgiving, and very adaptable - I bet it would be great with veggies and a cream sauce, or with a pesto and some chicken, or with bacon and egg as a breakfast casserole...there are lots of options here, people. Have you ever made this type of bread hot dish meal? Have any good combination recommendations?

It's a Wrap!

For years, I've sought an ideal wrapping paper storage solution (see here and here, also here). And during Big Closet Month, I finally got my act together to create the gift wrap station of my dreams. Ever since moving to our new place (erm, 2.5 years ago), I knew what I wanted to create. After spying this setup on Pinterest and reading all about the Elfa over the door system, I knew that the back of our Big Closet door would be perfect. It's a huge closet with room for the system once the door's shut, and it's right next to the dining room table, which is where I do most of my wrapping. I was having a hard time justifying the purchase (the Elfa system runs about $100), but thanks to some freelancing work from Extra Space Storage, I splurged guilt-free.

After a terrible Stanley Cup Playoff game for the Penguins (at least I was among friends at Giordano Brothers in San Francisco), I engaged in some retail therapy. My friend Adele, a fellow Container Store lover, and I hit the Co-Sto, and about $100 later, I had all the ingredients for a glorious wrapping paper project.

Nice display, Co-Sto. I'm not using this for
pantry storage though (maybe someday...)

Adele is my Container Store soulmate.
Look at this adorable deviled egg travel
container! I mean, come on!

Go home, Container Store. You're drunk.

There were, of course, a few hiccups. Namely, that the standard wall rack/pole thing comes in a standard door size. And all of the doors in our house are the standard size...except the door on the Big Closet, which is for some reason, about 3/4" shy of standard. I walked around the house, trying to see if there was another door I could use, but no. I was determined to use this door, dammit. So back I went a week later, for a free pole-trimming. Protip, guys: the store in San Francisco has a parking lot underground with a free Container Store drop-off and pick-up zone. Pull in, drop off your shit. Come back later, pick it up. They even come to you, so you don't have to leave your car. And the trimming service is free. Such service.

Anyway, with my resized pole, I was ready for action. Except I couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing installed. The instructions were helpful, but it was a little tricky to install by myself. With two people, one to hold and one to tighten the screw, it would have taken much less time. But hey, I'm a badass. I can do things by myself. Other protip: Don't freak out when it looks like despite cutting the pole to the correct size, it's still not going to fit because the over-the-door hooks could not possibly align with the slots correctly. What happens is that as you tighten the screw, the whole thing kind of cinches up, squeezing itself into place on the door. It's like magic. And don't worry about not being able to close the door, because as it squeezes, it tightens enough that the door will close perfectly and you will wonder why you spent so much time fretting about your door that could not possibly close. Because it closes just fine. Better than fine, actually. And now...

Boom.

This is what it looks like inside the closet. This picture was hard to take. It's hard to take a picture of this door, because from the outside the lighting is kind of crap. And from the inside, the lighting is slightly better but it's pretty crowded. So anyway, this is the best picture I could get. But you can see how awesome the gift wrap storage situation is. It's so lovely. Commence jealousy.

Anyone else have long-awaited projects they've recently completed?

Breakfast Burrito Bonanza

I am in a major breakfast burrito phase. Hold on. I'm not sure I'm explaining this right. I want to eat breakfast burritos every day. Like, every day. I want nothing else. I'm obsessed. Put one in front of me, and I won't be able to resist. And because the spots near home and work sell delicious breakfast burritos, I have no shortage of $6-8 temptation. But because I'm Being Responsible, I don't get them every day. Because that would be Irresponsible. I won't want to go broke by way of burrito.

It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I could probably make my own, in big batches, and freeze them, resulting in a super-convenient grab-n-go breakfast burrito experience. There are lots of folks doing this and blogging about it, so I had a lot of guidance (see below). My first attempt was with whole wheat flax seed burrito-sized tortillas, bacon, eggs, and a bit of salsa. I warmed the tortillas over the gas burner, and they got a little crackly when I tried to wrap them - not ideal. Because I was eating them the next day, I didn't freeze them. They got a little mushy in the fridge overnight, but not prohibitively so, and I ended up eating them with a fork and knife. They were delicious and easy to transport, but not quite what I was going for. Batch number two: same ingredients, but I heated the tortillas in a pan. Same crackly problem; actually worse this time because the tortillas got a bit crispy. Same fridge situation, same knife and fork.

This time, I was using all leftover ingredients from work, so I was working with flour tortillas (taco-sized, not burrito-sized), shredded barbacoa beef, sour cream and salsa, along with eggs and cheese I had at home (cheddar and pepperjack) and parsley from our garden. I heated the tortillas in the microwave, putting the whole stack between two damp paper towels, which left them soft and just rubbery enough so that they didn't crack when I wrapped them. The tricky thing with this batch of burritos? The tortillas are so small that I could only use like, a teaspoon or tablespoon of each ingredient per burrito, but they came out so adorably that I don't think I mind having to eat 2-3 burritos to equal one serving size :)

Ingredients.

I have a hard time not overstuffing - everything ends up
splooging out everywhere. 

Towards the end, logic+internet taught me that I could spread the sour cream on the tortilla first instead of blobbing it on at the end. The burrito is easier to roll if you don't have a splooge of sour cream to deal with. Also, a side note on sour cream: I have no idea how it will freeze. The internet seemed to think it would be ok, so I decided to give it a go. Hopefully I don't end up 18 mini burritos with weird texture issues.

Pile in the back, row ready to be wrapped in the front.
So adorable. Like little blintzes.

For (blurry) scale.

They barely fit in a zip-top freezer bag. Can't wait to
microwave (1 min? 3 min? 2 min?) and eat!

Big thanks to the blogs I consulted for inspiration and tips:

• Iowa Girl Eats
• The Pioneer Woman
• The Kitchn
• The Simple Dollar
• Andrew Dekker
• Shutterbean
• Unconventional Kitchen

Dirty Thirty: Clean Water

It's been almost a month since my last post, and it's been over a month since my birthday. I turned 30 this year, and decided to raise money for charity:water to celebrate. Here's why (from my fundraising page).

I'm about to turn 30. And while birthday gifts are fun and great, I don't need more stuff. So this year, I'm asking friends, family, and anyone who wants to help out to make donations to charity: water as part of my "birthday campaign." 

I've been lucky to enjoy consistent access to clean water for my entire life, something that's easy to take for granted (even in drought-prone California). Nearly a billion people around the world don't have access to clean, safe drinking water; thousands of children die every day due to waterborne illnesses. There are simple solutions like drilled wells, spring protections and BioSand filters that help provide clean water to communities around the world, and even small donations can make a difference.  

100% of every dollar you donate to my birthday campaign will be used to build clean water projects in developing countries. charity: water funds their operating costs separately through a group of private donors, so 100% of all public donations will go directly to people in need. And charity: water will show us exactly which projects (locations and names of communities) we funded once they've been fully completed (which takes about 18 months).  

My goal is to raise $1,000 - helping 50 people to get access to clean water. I'm asking for my age in dollars from everyone I know. That's 30 big ones. But you're welcome to donate more or less as you see fit. I hope you'll donate something, and help me make a small difference this year.

I'm just over halfway to my goal, and there are 8 days left. If you're reading this, and you're so inclined, please consider making a donation and helping me raise money for clean water.

Update: My campaign is over, and I raised a total of $580 - it's not quite as much as I'd hoped to raise, but you know what? It's something. Thank you Thank You THANK YOU to everyone who donated!

YoCP: The Big Closet

It's May, and Jolie and the Dust Bunnies are on to purging winter clothes. My #YoCP May focus was on The Big Closet. See, we have this closet. It's big. Like, approximately 42 square feet. I don't mean to brag, but dang, it's a closet. And it has so much potential. But it had gotten a little bit out of control. There was too much being stored, and stored inefficiently, making it hard to find anything - including floorspace to walk on. But friends, oh friends. I have prevailed. I spent about 15 hours over the course of the weekend taking everything out and putting it all back in again. And getting rid of a giant black trash bag full of clothing and whatnot. And now...photos.

I think we have a coat-hoarding problem.

And enough hats to outfit a baseball team.

And enough jerseys to run a hockey league.

There was a lot of stuff in that closet, man.

The hockey gear corner (before). Holy mess. 

The hockey gear corner (after). Neat & Tidy.
I'm particularly impressed with my hockey
stick holder - a repurposed toilet paper holder.

Better view of the hockey stick holder, plus
the ironing situation and giant post-it boards.

The other wall - organized sporting gear,
scarf holder, and clutches. Also contains
the "future gifts" box (and our ski gear
duffel sits on top of it, not pictured).

View of the wall behind the coat rack - we
have a lot of bags. They hang on the wall.
Camping gear and my childhood dollhouse
now fit snugly in the corner under the stairs.
The plastic cart on the left is hardware/tools
and the right is all hats. Yep. Hats.

The closest I could get to a shot of the whole
closet. Sleeping bags and hiking backpacks
hang from a hook on the left there.
Out of the shot on the left side is the stuff
pictured above (hockey, camping, etc).

So yeah. This was A Project. And it's pretty much done. Last step is the wrapping paper...but that'll get its own blog post because because. I'm impressed with myself, and I really enjoyed taking a whole weekend to tackle something in the house. I needed to fix the scarf holder (one of the Command hooks holding it up just plain fell off the wall -- the hook was strong enough but the years-old paint wasn't!) and what would have seemed like an insurmountable task was super speedy. Because the hammer and nails were so easy to get to, the repair only took about 2 minutes. 

You may my excitement over such little things (Will certainly does), but having things organized and easily accessible makes me feel good. It's more efficient, and it looks nicer too. A place for everything, and everything in its place.

Have you tackled any home projects lately? Anything in your house that's just driving you nuts?

YoCP April: bathroom and BBQ

It's the end of May, so what better time to write my April #YoCP post? I don't have any photos, so this will be a quickie.

April was "bathroom and BBQ" month - technically, it was "Create Your Dream Bathroom" month, but I knew we'd have to get the BBQ ready for summer so I threw it in the mix as well. So what was on the agenda to create my dream bathroom?

• fix loose tiles on the bathroom floor (a task I'd set out to do nearly two years ago)
• clean/purge the linen closet (time for that annual "what's expired? how many of these towels do we really need?" cleaning and re-organizing)

I fixed those loose tiles - turns out it's way easy! All it took was a little 2-in-1 grout/adhesive, and about 48 hours (about 10 minutes of hands-on) and the loose tiles that have been bugging me for years were fixed. The color's a little off in that section of the floor, since it's brand new, but after just a few weeks it's dirtying up to match the rest of the floor nicely :)  And sure, I could scrub and bleach the rest of the floor, but honestly the tile in the bathroom is so old I don't think I would make a dent on the 50+ year old grout, and well, we don't own it. So. Eh.

I haven't done the linen closet yet, but my mom's coming to visit in a few weeks, and she was bummed to have missed the big closet (where do you think I get my organization obsession?) so we'll knock that one out when she's here. And now of course I've noticed that the grout in the shower could use a good scrubbing, so that's gotta get done too, despite not being on the original list (oh god, no! self-imposed restrictions!). My dream bathroom certainly doesn't come with moldy grout.

The BBQ ended up taking several hours to clean - the morning of my birthday, we opened it up for the first time since last summer, and it was...well...a bit moldy. We took the whole thing apart and washed all the pieces, which was a much more involved process than I'd anticipated. This year, I think we'll be better about cleaning as we go. Somehow, we damaged the ignition button (it still lights with a match), but we grilled up a storm for my birthday.

So. That was April. Onward to May! Ahem.

Housewife Weekend

If you've been following along, I'm participating in Jolie Kerr's Year of the Clean Person (more on that here). I've been keeping up with my projects, but lately, I've been so busy that I haven't had time (or more accurately, the desire) to sit down and blog about them. Or anything else for that matter.

But no matter.

I had set this past weekend aside for The Big Closet, a project I was really looking forward to accomplishing. We have this giant (no really, it's about 42 sq feet) closet that's mostly used for the storage of gear and winter coats. Over time, it becomes disorganized and cluttered, and as a coworker recently pointed out, "it has a lot of potential." While it has not yet reached its full potential, this weekend's work was a great start.I made room for no plans if they did not contribute to Mission: Big Closet, and it was honestly so lovely that I don't know why I don't do this more often. (oh right: because I am also a social person and desire the company of humans) I wondered what my life would be like if I didn't work; if my only job was to take care of our home and myself and my family.

Putting my feet up on a mid-closet break

I sometimes struggle to balance the desire to be a Strong Professional Woman with my love of homemaking...can I be both housewife and breadwinner (I mean, I wrote about this 5 years ago, so this is nothing new)? I don't know that it's possible within the laws of physics, but I certainly try. I want to stay home all day and keep house, bake bread, do laundry at my leisure. I want to take midday walks down to the butcher and read a good book in the sun. I want to take that 10am weekday "ABC: Abs, Back, Core" workout class. I want to drop my kids off at school and be home in the afternoons when they're done so I can take them to their various lessons or help them with their homework. But I also want to develop my career, have difficult and engaging conversations with other adults, and do my part to make my company and the industry a better place. I want my hypothetical kids to see that their mom is a strong, driven career woman and know that they can aspire to be anything. I want my world to be more than my home.

It's hard to do it all. And because most of the time, my balance skews in favor of work, sometimes it's nice to reject the laptop and focus on the nesting, however forced it may feel at first.

This weekend (in no particular order) I:

• did three loads of laundry
• repurposed miscellaneous leftovers into a whole new (delicious!) meal
• made banana peanut butter chocolate chip "ice cream"
• organized the camping gear
• overhauled the hockey gear storage
• found new storage for our outdoor toys (jai alai, frisbees, wiffle ball, etc)
• moved the gift storage out of the bedroom (after several months)
• collected a big black trash bag full of clothes to give away
• watched Bye Bye Birdie and Gidget (I have a soft spot for adorable mid-century movies)
• organized the hardware cabinet
• reworked the sprinklers in the vegetable garden
• moved my childhood dollhouse into the Big Closet (it's in a big box that had been moving around the house because of lack of room in the closet)
• put away a bunch of dishes
• prepped a pillow for testing (review coming soon on the blog)
• took a trip to IKEA for supplies and ogling the IKEA things

And that doesn't even take into account the magazine-sorting, table-clearing, trash-taking-out, and dishwashing that Will contributed to the weekend. The house is looking so much better, and I'm feeling a greater peace of mind. I think I might just do it again this weekend.

Separate post on the YoCP stuff to come (because, hello, I owe y'all a post about April still and I took a LOT of pictures of the closet this weekend). 

Still Life With Tomatoes

First tomatoes of the 2014 season or last tomatoes (?) from the 2013 season?

Hint: we haven't done any gardening yet this year. It was a warm, dry winter. 

March #YoCP

The Year of the Clean Person marches on. Speaking of marching...March's tasks were to fix the broken lamp by my bedside, to hang the mirror on the wall, and to clean the top of my dresser (I already make my side of the bed every day, and March is #YoCP #LAMOB month). Well, technically, I wanted to clean the tops of both of our dressers, but c'est la vie. And mine was the worst, so it needed immediate attention, and what was top of mind when making the list.

Before: it was pretty awful.
Earrings strewn about, papers needing to be filed,  and
piles upon piles upon piles.

After: so much clean!
Neat and organized, earrings hung on their stand,
small piles that are organized.

I found old checkbooks, half-empty water bottles, pay stubs from last year, and earrings I hadn't seen in months. It's so clean now that I can even lay clothes out the night before (ha - right, like I remember to do that) if I want. 

Will's dresser is still kind of pile-y, but it's better. And honestly, it's his area to control. And I fixed the lamp (hot glue gun ftw) and hung the mirror. So I shall consider March to be completed. 

How was your March? Who's ready for April (aka bathroom and BBQ month)?

 

Buffalo. Tuna. Mac.

You guys. I don't have a photo because I ate it too fast, but holy cow. I've been on a buffalo sauce kick since around Super Bowl time, and tonight I was just sitting at home thinking of things I could do with the buffalo sauce in the pantry when I got it in my head to make buffalo mac. 

Sometimes a kitchen experiment just goes terribly, terribly well. No further ado needed. Here you go.

Buffalo Tuna Mac

These are the ingredients I used. Feel free to substitute at will.

• One box Annie's White Cheddar mac and cheese
• One package Sea Fare Pacific jalapeno tuna
• Two slices American cheese (I buy Trader Joe's organic)
• Approximately 2 tbs Litehouse OPA blue cheese dressing
• Approximately 2 tbs Frank's Red Hot buffalo wing sauce
• Approximately 2 tbs heavy cream

This is how I made it. Feel free to follow your own heart's mac cheese instructions.

1. Boil yo water.
2. Boil yo noodles.
3. While the noodles are noodling, clean up your house a little. You're a grown up.
4. Al dente noodles? Strain 'em. No need to rinse.
5. While they're straining, plop the whole package of tuna, with its olive oil, into the pot.
6. Mash the tuna around with your spoon, breaking it into little pieces as best you can. This is just a matter of taste. If you like bigger chunks, leave 'em bigger. I like 'em to be smaller so they integrate better.
7. Add the heavy cream, swooshing it all around together.
8. Add the cheese packet from the box, stirring until dissolved/integrated.
9. Add the pasta back into the pot, stir it all around until noodles are coated.
10. Tear American cheese into little pieces, because little pieces melt better.
11. Pour in the wing sauce. Add more if you want. This is just "to taste", whatevs you like.
12. Pour in the blue cheese dressing. Again, add more if you want. Live your life.
13. Stir it all together and marvel at how good it looks and smells.
14. Try not to eat the entire box, and then realize you're a grown up and you can eat however much you want so there. 
15. Kind of wish you had celery to crunch on alongside this amazing concoction, but don't stress about it.

You're welcome.

Got Cold Feet (literally)?

I was contacted recently by the folks at Heat Holders, who were wondering if I would like to try their socks. Socks? Yup. You heard me.

I'm a person who is frequently cold, so I was game for a little sock experiment. And I'm glad I was. These things are somehow warm without making your feet sweaty. Soft and fuzzy on the inside without pilling and shedding between your toes. They're thick enough to wear as slipper socks around the house, and make perfect rain boot liner socks if you just have cheap rubber boots like I do.  :)

The only downside is that they are *so* thick that I can't wear them with most normal (ie: fashion) boots. But they're great in the winter, and for wearing around the house. I'm considering purchasing a striped pair, or maybe some leggings or tights. I'm really impressed with how warm they are while still being breathable!

I have a pair to give away, so if you're not lucky enough to be experiencing 75 degree Springtime days like I am, you might want to consider entering. Stay warm out there, my friends.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


While Heat Holders did send me two pairs of original fuchsia socks to review, I was not otherwise compensated for this post. I was not required to provide a positive review; all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Happy Purim!

The wonderful Jewish holiday of Purim is on Saturday! It's one of my favorites, so I thought I'd share a little bit about it. Big thanks to my girl Stephanie Nudelman out in NYC for being my "second pair of Jew eyes" to proofread this for typos and accuracy.

What is Purim?

Literally, the word "Purim" means "Lots", which is kind of morbid, because Haman (the bad guy) cast lots (aka choosing by lottery) to randomly pick a date to destroy the Jews. What a cool guy. More on that here from a sweet rabbi with an animated video.

But you didn't want a definition, you wanted to know what this holiday is all about. Well, like most Jewish holidays, it's about celebrating how we didn't die when someone wanted to destroy us. Fun! You may have heard the old adage, "They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat!" -- it's pretty accurate.

So what's Purim all about? Imma break it down for you, easy peasy. Story Time!

Purim is a super sick feminist story from the biblical book of Esther. Esther was this hottie Persian Jew, living with her cousin Mordecai who happened to be the de facto Leader of the Jews. Nice cousin! The King was lookin' for a wife because his old wife Vashti wouldn't strip for his friends when he was like, "you're hot, I wanna show you off", and thus was sent to be beheaded (thanks to Stephanie for reminding me about that fun fact)...so with Vashti out of the way, he had everyone get together for a Parade Of Potential Harem Ladies. Mordecai was like, "Yo, E! You should go out for that parade! You're beautiful, and you're also super smart so maybe you'd bring some diversity to that harem!" - she paraded, and the King thought she was the Most Pretty Lady In Persia. Esther joined his harem, which, at the time, was a pretty good gig for a lady. Anyway, the King loved Esther more than everyone else, not knowing that she was a secret Jew (she had to keep it a secret because not everyone in that castle was pro-Jew), because she was basically all-around awesome and smart...in addition to being hot.

Beauty and Brains!
Classic!

After Esther became Queen of the Harem (and basically, Persia), Mordechai overheard some of the King's men talking about assassinating the king. He reported them, and the traitors were hanged. This is important later...

Meanwhile, there's this bad guy named Haman. He wears a 3-pointed hat, is the advisor to the king, and is generally just an egomaniacal, anti-semitic a-hole. Think Jafar from Aladdin. He hates Mordecai because he won't bow down to Haman...and Haman's the type to hold a grudge. So what does he do? He vows to destroy the Jewish people. He picks March 13*, a random day (by casting lots, remember?) and is like, "Yo King. The Jews are totally different from us, and they follow different religious laws, and (even though we've been living peacefully forevah) we should get rid of them." The King was not the brightest crayon in the box, and he was like, "ok, whatever you say, Haman, you're my advisor and I totally trust you." 

Mordecai was like, "ESTHER! YOUR 'BOYFRIEND' IS GONNA LET HAMAN KILL US. YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOUR FAMILY! GO TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM PLEASE! STAND UP AND SAVE THE JEWISH PEOPLE" Esther was like, "uhhh if I go talk to him without being summoned, he might kill me, because that's the way things work around this harem, but...this is serious, and I'm a badass, so ok."

Meanwhile, the King was having trouble sleeping (maybe because he'd agreed to exterminate a people? probably not...) -- he had his servants to read to him some recent Chronicles, which included the bit about how Mordecai saved the King's life. The King was horrified to learn that Mordecai hadn't been rewarded for this deed yet, and asked Haman how he should reward someone who the King wants to honor. Haman, who had been on his way to ask the King to hang Mordecai (because grudge-holding), thought the King was talking about him, so he was all "bestow the finest honors, put him in royal robes and parade him around the kingdom!" The King was all, "KEWL, THX, go get that started for Mordecai!"  OOOH SORRY HAMAN!

Haman, leading Mordecai around town.

Anyhoo, that happened, and meanwhile Esther had been fasting for three days to pray and mentally prepare herself to ask the King not to kill the Jews. She bravely went to see him even though she hadn't been summoned, and he was like, "Oh, Esther, I love you, you can come see me anytime!" To which Esther replied, "Really? Cool. So about that...I maybe forgot to tell you that I'm actually Jewish? And remember when you told Haman he could kill the Jews? Hey, don't let Haman kill me and my people." The king loved her so much that he didn't want her to die, plus he was pissed because he liked Mordecai now too, so he hanged Haman (and his 10 sons, just in case) on the gallows Haman had built for Mordecai.  [cue Alanis Morissette]  Mordecai became Prime Minister and Esther was awarded Haman's estate. Aaaaaaand the King reversed Haman's decree, and the Jews of Shushan (in Persia) were saved!

How do we celebrate?

This year we celebrate on March 15*, the day after Haman's intended Jew-Destruction-Day, because that's when the Jews celebrated way back when Esther saved them. 

The main requirement of Purim Celebration is telling the story of Esther. Which I just told you! Commandment: Fulfilled! During the telling, you're supposed to boo, hiss, make noise with noisemakers whenever Haman's name is mentioned, to "blot out the name of Haman". Along with storytelling, the other commandment is to eat, drink, and be merry...according to the Talmud (the interpretation of the Torah), we are required to drink "until you cannot tell the difference between 'cursed be Haman' and 'blessed be Mordecai'" -- whatever that means for you. Unless you're a recovering alcoholic, or you just don't drink in which case you are exempted from this commandment.

Ain't no party like a Purim party!

We also are commanded to give gifts of food or drink and/or make gifts to charity. A common food-gift is Hamentaschen, a triangular-shaped cookie meant to resemble Haman's 3-cornered hat. Some people fast before Purim, to commemorate Esther's fast. Other common celebrations include parades, performing parodies/plays of the story, holding beauty contests (although Esther was a strong, brave woman who saved her people...the king chose her because she was beautiful)

Delicious, delicious evil jam hats!

*Technically, we celebrate on the 14th day of Adar, which is a month in the Jewish calendar, and it's too complicated to explain here...so just know that Purim is usually in March.

You're Right! Purim is fun!

Yup. Thanks for reading! See also: this video by The Maccabeats, which (kind of) tells the story of Purim.

<3 Kim

Queen Bey as Queen Esther